My husband is chasing his lost youth and it’s weird

His youthful vigour is a great quality but I wish he would focus on more age-appropriate activities

We have been married for over 15 years with two children and a dog. We’re pretty much the standard picture of a middle-class family: two parents in their 40s and school-age children. There’s nothing hugely remarkable about our set-up. Yet, my husband seems increasingly uncomfortable with middle age.
For a while now, he’s been attracted to the fashions of younger men – there are a lot of designer tracksuit bottoms turning up in his wardrobe. He browses the high-end bit of the menswear section of our closest department store religiously and he eyes up the latest trainers when they “drop” as though he is in the throes of youth.
I enjoy shopping myself so the fashion aspect hasn’t grated on me too much. However, the next instalment did leave me mildly shocked. Soon after turning 45, my husband started to discuss – quite seriously – where and when he might opt for a tattoo. I decided to keep my thoughts to myself and, as yet, nothing has come of this but he does often show more than a passing interest when we encounter anyone who has been inked. 
Tattoos aside, I did seriously begin to raise my eyebrows when he began looking up clinics which perform hair transplants. He has always been so at ease with how he looks and works out regularly. But he’s clearly really starting to worry about losing his hair. A tattoo you can hide, a questionable shirt will be in the laundry basket the following day. But re-planting his whole scalp is a big deal, plus it’s hugely noticeable and doesn’t come cheap!
It isn’t just matters of appearance which are changing for my husband. He’s also taken to throwing himself into youth culture wholeheartedly. No longer is he happy to play music by the bands we used to watch together in years gone by. Or have a nostalgia trip and go down memory lane. 
Every time I get in our car there’s a DJ or grime artist playing that I’ve never heard of. I can’t bear the din and our daughter, who is almost a teenager, is full of judgemental eye-rolls. 
It’s as though the touchstones that cemented our relationship are shifting and he no longer seems to be content with being a family man in his forties. Instead, he’s desperate to get gig tickets for nights which will be populated with youngsters. He’s switched gyms to weight train with beefcake 20-somethings and the conversations we are starting to have are not common ground for us. I can hardly discuss details of the children’s residential trips or renewing our mortgage deal when he is earnestly asking me which dental clinic might be best for teeth whitening. 
He’s also approaching social life like a man 20 years younger. I have no idea where he finds the energy. We used to rewind together with a glass of wine and a detective series on TV or begin a box-set marathon. But now nights out that end at 3am are becoming a regular occurrence – rendering him totally useless for activities such as kids’ cricket matches or lunch with our parents the next day. Predictably, I have little time for his hungover fragility, and I have even less for hearing about whichever new bar he was sampling cocktails in. 
Yes, my husband’s enthusiasm and energy are brilliant qualities. Many of my pals wish their husbands wanted to dress nicely, take care over their appearance, and go out instead of slobbing on the sofa. But I wish this burst of midlife vigour could be channelled at things a bit more age-appropriate: like clearing out the garage or going for a long dog walk. 
Read last week’s Marriage Diaries